Thursday, August 18, 2011

Egg on my Towel + a Rant on Homemaking

Homemaking runs through my blood.  I was raised by my Grandma Ann who was the epitome of a homemaker (including the stereotypical postpartum depression and choosing the role of wife and mother over a music scholarship in college- but that's a whole other story).  Although I realize I am a self-sufficient and fiercely independent modern woman, homemaking beyond all else, is where my heart lies.  Perhaps because it encompasses a wide range of activities and philosophies and creativity.  And I'm not gonna lie, I always imagine myself doing it all while impeccably dressed and with a joyful smile on my face! Oh, le sigh!  In all seriousness, though, my Grandma Ann did have that part down, too.  Even in her later years when she stuck to a simple blue sweat suit, she never left the house without some powder on, her hair coiffed (scrunched, puffed...whatever you call that hand motion to liven up a perm), her matching earrings and necklace, and freshening her perfume (Red Door, it was her signature scent).  Needless to say, I was raised right.

{Nesting is just so incredibly personal.  It's ever-changing and always a work-in-progress.  Just when the space feels right, something happens and it feels even righter.  Yeah, I made that word up, but doesn't it just feel right?  Oh how I love to nest.  To snuggle into myself and my space.  To share that precious place with those I love.}

But, I digress.

The point is, homemaking is life.  Whether I like it or not there is no choosing if I am a homemaker or not.  There is no becoming one, either.  It just is.  I've tried many times to pretend it isn't so.  To pretend that I'd much rather be that awesome career woman that works works works and makes a proud ascent to the top.  I love that, really, I do.  Working Girl?  Great film! [Though the "I don't know about my belly, but I think it's butterflies" line makes me kinda barf in my feminist mouth] Most of my female friends are on this track.  Their determination is leading them to a grand career.  And they love it.  And I love that they love it.  I've come to realize over the years, though, that deny it as I may, I do not want that for myself.  It's sort of like peer pressure- in Life.  "So what's your plan?  What do you do?  Where are you working now?"  The answers I've given over the years never seem adequate.  Though, who's to say these women aren't also homemakers in their own right?

Embracing the homemaker inside of me means I am not striving for the same things as my girlfriends and their awesome careers.  The life I choose to live is one patched together to make something that's right for me.  I'd prefer self-employment, multiple projects in work and home, motherhood, travel, and personal development over a single career.  How do people even choose just one!?  I know this isn't normal or typical among my peers in the area, but I've found soul mates in women who do it daily around the country.  They live their lives on their terms and love every good, bad, and mundane moment of it.  That is what I strive for.

I will not "bide my time" until the perfect mate comes into my life to share it all with.  The life is made now, everyday, all by my lonesome and, in bits, shared with those around me whom I love dearly.  Picnics, cooking, sharing recipes, sewing, nesting: I eat this ish up for breakfast.  I devour it all so happy and proud of my creativity and domestic skills (what decade am I living in?).  Perhaps I put the feminist movement back 30 years in this sense, but I rather think I'm one of the many millions of women to move it forward in our own ways.  "Career" women and homemakers and vagabonds alike, we're doing exactly what we want to do.  We're living our life on our terms.  There is no submission to husband, boss, or societal pressures.  You want kids?  Have them!  You don't want kids?  Don't have them!  AND PS IT'S OK NOT TO WANT CHILDREN.  Just thought I'd throw that in there to clarify how okay it is to not want kids. 

Oh my, how I've shared!

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